too many questions

when and where do you belong?  what?  yes, when and where do you belong?  in other words are we all where we are supposed to be when we are supposed to be there?  and if not, how do we know, and more importantly, how do we find out?

i sat down and had a good conversation with someone who i look up to today.  i told her my dilemma, what am i to do?  she said what are your options?  when all told the response was, is there a downside to taking that road?  no i responded.  so i guess i know where i need to go, but now the question is when am i supposed to go there?  is now the time?  or should i wait?  and if i wait, how long and will it be too late if i wait too long?

life is full of questions, many more than answers.  who, what, where, when, how, why?  its enough to make your brain explode, like in that movie scanners.  that was pretty gross by the way...squirrel!...distracted...ok, back to the question at hand, or the questions at hand: what to do and when to do it.  i guess the real question to ask is what's the real downside...none, so away i go...wish me luck!   

laughing out loud, yet screaming inside...

my wife and i have these battles over pronunciation and spelling...is it "frustration or fustration?"  I say, "who really cares!"  which leads to more frustration (or fustration).  anyway, today was one of those days when you look good on the outside, and everyone thinks you're ok, but inside you just suck.  torn between two sides of an issue, knowing that the right thing to do hurts the most.  not sure where i'm going with this, but i guess that's the purpose of this blog.  laughing out loud, yet screaming inside.  yeah, that should be the title today.  hold on while i change it.  [highlight, copy, highlight, paste - there we go].  ok i'm back, that was easy. 

love is a complicated thing, not spousal love (although that's REALLY complicated) but parental love.  "do the right thing" is not only the name of a great movie but the mantra that is so hard to do at times because doing the right thing is not neccessarily the easiest thing to do. 

oh well, what's a person to do?  pushing forward and hoping not to take too many steps back by nightfall...

Three Day Weekend

Its nice to have a day off, especially a Monday.  Snow days are great, don't get me wrong, but planned days off allow for planning great times with great friends.  Discussing struggles and joys, accomplishments and challenges led to great insight and discernment.  As time progresses, I have learn to value other's opinions more and more.  Knowing what's important to me is foundational to my growth, but having others to bounce ideas off of is just as important. 

Winter in the mountain is quiet, peaceful and inspiring.  Time and space to think, reflect, and plan for teh future, both near and far.  Life brings so many turns and twists, questions without answers, that without quiet, its impossible to read the map.  Its comforting to know, as sick as this may sound, that others have the same struggles, if not worse, than mine. 

Bigger picture v smaller picture, that's where it's at.  I guess if I could see the future clearly it would be much easier.  But then again, it would be as exciting.  Or at least that what I keep telling myself... 

SNOW DAY

One of the great things about living on the east coast...snow.  if its a light coating, everything look great.  if there's lots of it, paid day off.  if there's a crap load of it, a few days off.  and fortunately it doesn't snow that much in the winter.  the real bummer is what to do with the time.  catch up on work?  catch up on tv?  catch up on reading?  catch up on sleep?  start a new project?  do absolutely nothing?  so many things to do, so much time to do it in...gotta go, need to cath up on..........

One year down, and many more to go

Well, its been 12 months and I am a different person.  The pain was too much; no sleep, no sitting, and no amount of standing could relieve it.  Everyone had an opinion...try this, try that, do this, do that.  Frustrating at best.   Belief in something better was possible and in that miracles are always possible led to the end of chronic pain and the beginning of a new life.  God does work miracles; I know it first hand.  Its hard to beleive that it was that bad back then, but I am reminded that to get through the average day was nothing short of an exhausting uphill battle leaving me disenchanted with life in general. 

Its a different day, a different life.  I am glad tomorrow is here already. 

city life v the suburbs

Having spent some time in the city these last few months in a residential environment, I have to say that it is appealing.  Little neighborhoods tucked away in huge metropolises.   Different people all over, variety in every area of life.  Refreshing, exciting, fun.  Walking and public transportation v driving everywhere, no contest.  It would be a great gig after the kiddies are out of the house to hang in that environment.  

February sucks and people are stupid

ok, rant for the day and rant for the month.  February sucks.  There, I said it.  Many are afraid to admit it, but I said it.  Whether you live in a warm-weather climate or especially in a cold weather climate, February sucks.  Apologies to all the birthdays, anniversaries, and any other celebratory event in the month, but it truly sucks.  First, its the dead of winter.  It's only has 28 days.  It too late after the holidays, too early for spring.  Its just there.  And it does nothing.  I guess its length is its strength because we don't have to live through it for too long.  Also, football is over, baseball is yet to start and the only sports are the nba and the nhl, both second rate, one tier above soccer bore-fests.  enough about February; I've already given it more time than it lasts anyway. 

People are stupid.  That's right, people are stupid.  Including me.  We do stupid things, say stupid things, and act like stupid fools.  Whether its in a parking lot, in an office, at school, in the gym, or anyplace else, people are stupid.  How many times have you been in a situation where you know how is going to turn out, you try to help the stupid fool to avoid the mistake, they blow you off like you're stupid and then you have to submerge all your instincts to say, "I told you so!"?  Now I know its not nice to rub it in someone's face, but I think I'm going to make that my catch-phrase from now on.  "Hi, glad to meet you, I told you so!"  "Oh what's that?  I didn't hear you, I told you so!"  Sometimes I feel like a prophet.  I see it comig yet no one will listen.  Then I'm supposed to sit quietly as it plays out exactly as I said it would.  Stupidity is not passed down through generations by the way.  Its just given to all of us as a birth gift.  You get eyes, a nose, a mouth, other vital organs, and stupidity.  Its a package deal.  Think of it as an ID card for humanity.  "Hi, my name is Bob, I'm a human, and I am stupid."  And we wonder why extraterrestrials haven't made their existence obvious to us...